Respecting Others, Part I: Time
We all deserve respect. Sometimes giving it’s easy. And sometimes it takes a bit of self control. But, often it’s more complicated. You don’t have to be downright mean to disrespect others. Frequently we do it without even knowing. This is the first blog in a series of three, written to uncover often overlooked acts of disrespect. So where do we begin? With time. Time is one of the only resources you can’t earn or buy more of. (And if you follow our blog you’ve probably already realized we’re seriously obsessed with it.) There are only 24 hours in a day, and if you want to maximize them you’ve got to spend them well. This is particularly difficult to do if those around you are spending them for you. Here are a few examples of what I mean:
- The Yapper. Years ago, I worked next to a kindhearted woman who, unfortunately for her, happened to be a great listener. You see, her listening skills attracted frequent and unsolicited conversation from me, and her kindheartedness prevented her from telling me to, well, shut it. But thanks to my newfound mindfulness habit (I owe you one Headspace), I’m now self-aware enough to realize I was spending her time without her consent. It’s funny really. I regularly saw her rushing around at the end of the day trying to cram two hours of work into 20 minutes, yet I felt no responsibility for her stress. I wasn’t malicious, but I was oblivious.
- The Flake. I have a few people in my life who are non-essentialists and as a result are perpetually tardy. This would be fine if they operated in a vacuum. But they don’t, and their tardiness frequently leaves me scrambling so that I don’t do the same to someone else. These non-essentialists are not only spending their time poorly, they’re spending mine poorly without my consent. Time is money, and time is experience. I regularly leverage my time to provide both material and experiential possessions to my family, therefore my time is very valuable to me.
- The Over-committer. We all periodically run into people who struggle with overcommitment. You know the ones. The every day is a “yes day” person. For these over-committers saying yes is easy, but scheduling all of the yeses isn’t. They’re chronically double and triple-booking themselves. Sadly, the people closest to the over-committer are the ones left holding the proverbial check, and the only accepted form of payment, is their time.
When we spend someone else’s time without their consent, it’s a subtle and socially tolerated form of theft. We don’t go around stealing money or possessions from others, yet we feel justified in stealing the time they use to procure their money and possessions. Many of us have been unaware of the way we’re disrespecting those around us. But now we know, and according to an animated G.I. by the name of Joe, “Knowing is half the battle.” And, the other half is…stop stealing people’s time!